Get The Stink Off

This is my first solo post and I am so excited!! We have sat by and watched our pets use this little machine and wondered when we would be getting our turn….and here it is!!

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am not a fan of getting a bath. I work hard to cover myself in as many different scents as possible. I look at the world as one big scratch and sniff sticker.

I like to start by knocking over the trash in the kitchen and rolling around in the coffee grounds and banana peels the little boy pet put in there for me. He knows I like a challenge I guess. After I have rolled around in that making sure to get it behind my ears real good I head off to the garage.

One of the cars in there is newer so isn’t as fun but the other is older and has an oil leak. I make my way under there and get some oil to help me be more water proof in case it rains. That stuff really works, you should try it.

I then whine at the door so someone will take me for a walk. My first stop outside is the bushes with all the stickers in it. Who needs to buy cute little bows when you can just snag a few of those?

Next is the compost pile in the neighbors yard. I have to be fast to roll in that as my pets have caught on. I have them trained to walk me but not to let me go where I want.

The bad part about all this hard work, is that my pets don’t seem to like it. I don’t like the stuff they rub on their bodies either but I don’t force them in a big hole full of water! So once I have worked so hard to smell just right they attack!!

They first take me to the bathroom and close the door. I know this means it’s going to get messy. I try and hide behind the toilet but that only works for a while. Then when they turn around I try and get under the sink! They always find me though! And then it happens. I am covered with water. And that’s not it!! Then they put this really stinky stuff on me and it makes bubbles, that they won’t let me eat! They hose me down again and put on more stinky stuff. (Doggy must be still or it get’s the hose again) After that they get this cloth and rub my hair in the wrong direction making my skin crawl!!

I wish I could tell you that was the end of my torture. But it isn’t! Out comes the wind machine. This thing is evil. It has to be used with the comb….they turn it on and blow you all over while combing you. It is the scariest thing in the world!!!

I am not sure why they do all of this. I plan to get up tomorrow and do all those wonderful things again! And this time….once I am all covered in wonderful stink, I am going to go roll in their bed!!